Get Life: Part Deux

Life in the NICU was interesting and taught me a ton about what it’s going to be like as a mom. Frustration, stress, and worry ensued within the first few minutes within 24 hours of me becoming a parent. My body was not aware I gave birth yet and I had to start pumping for milk within minutes of me being pushed into my maternity room for recovery. Since my daughter is a micro-preemie, she can only take breast milk. Formulas are not given since her body cannot process formulated milk just yet. So, mom duty kicked in and I was pumping every 2 hours, even when there was no milk coming out. The nurses told me that it’s part of the process and just keep trying - my daughter’s life was dependent on it. I cannot tell you how incredibly excited my husband and I were when we got the first moisture - we collected the milk using a Q-Tip and the nurse ran it straight to our daughter to rub it on her lips. I was ecstatic and my husband told me, “You’re doing great. Just get whatever you can, the milk will come.” Life as a mom was just going to get interesting from here on out. It was a rollercoaster of emotions for such a tiny being.

I remember when I was discharged after giving birth, I didn’t want to leave the hospital because our daughter was still there. She’s fragile and I had to entrust those in the hospital (strangers, basically) to give her the best care possible to help her grow and get stronger. This was all new territory for me, but I knew it was something I had to get used to (and be patient!) until she’s ready to be welcomed home. After hours of sitting near her infant incubator, the nurses and doctors urged us to go home and get some rest as we will need to be strong for her. My husband and I sat in the car ride home pretty silent, I couldn’t hold back the tears knowing I was leaving the hospital and our baby wasn’t with us. I remember thinking “This is not how it’s supposed to be! We are supposed to be going home as a family of three!”. My husband just held my hand as we drove further away from the hospital but assured me, “Everything will be okay. We will get through this together.”

From then, we got into a daily routine:
6:00am - My husband gets ready for work, I was getting ready to go back to the NICU.
7:00am - Nurses and doctors have shift change and I was sitting in the waiting room anxiously wanting to get to my daughter’s bedside.
7:15am - Parents are allowed back into the NICU. I stayed throughout the day making sure to pump and being determined to produce whatever milk I can.
5:00pm - Leave NICU to meet up with my husband at home for a quick dinner.
7:00pm - Arrive back at NICU so my husband can have time with our daughter.
10:00pm - Leave NICU for the evening.

This was our schedule for many months and during the holidays.

One thing I have to commend our hospital (and the donation they received to install such equipment), every baby incubator had a live feed camera for parents to check in our their son/daughter while they were away. We frequently logged in to check in on her when we got home. I found myself checking on her frequently through the night as I was already awake trying to pump more milk. It gave me a sense of relief as I was still able to see how she’s sleeping.

Each day was different. One day, she was having a ton of spells (these are when the baby stops breathing for a moment in time and alarms would be set off at their “station” because oxygen dipped below range - for her, sometimes it was 0) and another day, we are told she’s breathing really well on her own. Again, it’s a rollercoaster of good times with bumpy moments. If you are currently going through what we did and dealing with spells yourself, one trick we were told is to tickle her feet when we saw her pulse-ox starting to dip. It helps babies remember “oh yea, I have to breathe!”. It doesn’t always help immediately, but there were plenty of times when I tickled her feet and her breathing bumped right back to 100%. The beeps and alarms used to trigger us when we were first introduced, but as time went by, they became a comfort as it would help us know whether or not her breathing was steady. So don’t let the beeps scare you, learn more about what they mean and how you can anticipate what’s going to happen. When we finally took her home, I missed the ability to tell how she’s breathing from the noise. Therefore, we bought this Owlet, we put the sock on her and it helped us to know whether her pulse and oxygen were within range. This little invention was incredibly helpful for us and made us sleep better at night knowing we had this at our disposal! I am not a medical professional, but I did ask some nurses of what they thought - one nurse mentioned she bought it for her baby when she gave birth and others said they were not able to make any recommendations (hospital rules) but hinted that the sock was a great.

Our NICU time gave us an opportunity to be a part of the preemie community and I wanted to open up to those that may be going through what we did as it can provide a sense of comfort during scary times.

If you had a micro-preemie or a preemie, what was your experience in the NICU? What helped you get through those times?